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FartChampThe World Cup of Flatulence! |
Support Info
As with any sound playing or recording app you need to ensue that your volume is up and that the phone is not switched to silent or vibrate. It is also worth noting that for the moment, FartChamp has it's own volume level independent of the ringer. We assume that if you want to hear a fart you want to hear it LOUD so the default is full-noise.
for iPod Touch users, you must remember that you can't record unless you have a compatible external mic plugged in.
Recording:
Firstly, remember that recording takes a brief moment to begin. When you see the button change to STOP you know it is safe to drop your guts.
Get the mic close but not too close. The iPhone mic is pretty good but it is not designed for some of the powerful bottom burps you will hopefully be producing. If you fart too hard and have the mic too close, your recording will be digitally 'clipped'. This generally means you will lose the detail and character of the performance and might have to try another take.
Uploading:
Depending on your network speed and the length of your recording, uploading can be very fast or very slow.
Try to record as little as possible so you're not trimming off huge amounts of the recording. The entire file will be uploaded regardless of how much you have trimmed.
Downloading:
Whenever you select a fart and load it's detail view, the app will download the relevant fart recording. These recordings are kept locally on your phone for later use so once you've listened to a fart, you will always have it to listen to without the need to download it all over.
Searching:
Typing a keyword into the search field will search for any occurrence of the keyword anywhere in the database.
Touching the little yellow arrow button in the fart detail view will automatically search for all farts by that user. If a fart falls off the Recent Guffs list before it has achieved a good rating, the only way to find it is using the search page.
Rating:
The survival of farts in the competition depends on them getting rated well by other users. Farts will first appear in the Recent Guffs list which holds a limited number of the most recent uploads. If a fart is going to make it to the Fart Parade it needs to be rated a certain number of times and it's average rating is what decides it's ranking in the competition.
The fart with the highest average rating holds the Golden Gruts trophy until it is dislodged by a more impressive piece of work. In the even of a tie, the fart with the greater number of ratings will win.
Master Farter status:
A Master Farter is a participant who has proven his or her skill with an exceptionally large number of consistently high scoring bum-chuffs or a particularly impressive body of high quality work. The awarding of Master Farter status will be at the discretion of the competition referee (Portaloo Stu). No correspondence shall be entered into and bribes under 6 figures will not be considered
Notes for farters:
1. Control is everything - you can do beautiful things with your anus if you learn to control it.
2. Duration adds difficulty - it's takes will power not to drop your payload all at once.
3. A clever description goes a long way - try to evoke an image in the mind of the reader as they listen to your dulcet tones.
Notes for judges:
It's up to you how you choose to judge a fart but keep in mind the four essential elements of a quality fart recording:
1. control
2. duration
3. personal expression
4. power
The potential for people to abuse the privilege of competing in FartChamp is obvious but we hope that you - the user - will weed out the non-farts and the whoopie-cushion fakers by giving them a zero rating whenever you find them. Enough zeros and we'll delete the fart and "black mark" the farter. Enough "black marks" and we'll ban their device forever.
see you on the Fart Parade....
Portaloo Stu
stu (_a_t_) maggot.co.nz
--- iPod Touch users: remember that you will need a compatible external mic in order to record your own farts.
